How to ask for help from people who don't know you
Points and comments are a snapshot, not live.
Asking for help requires putting yourself in the recipient's mind, not your own.
The author argues that asking for help is a learnable skill grounded in one principle: put yourself in the other person's mind. Heuristics include demonstrating you are a serious person through proof of work (a trained model, a detailed blog post), using personal connections cautiously, and relying on institutional credentials sparingly. Provide brief, relevant context that connects to what the reader already knows. Make the request easy to accept by keeping it specific, low-friction, and bounded (e.g., ask for twenty minutes, not a manuscript review). Finally, make it easy to say no; a pressured yes poisons the relationship. Honesty is non-negotiable.
What commenters are saying
Commenters largely agreed with the article's core premise, emphasizing that genuine proof of work must go beyond surface-level effort. One commenter noted the key differentiator is whether someone wants to solve the problem or just wants the problem to be solved. Several commenters debated the optimal ask specificity; some preferred a clear, direct referral request over a highly specific but convoluted one. Another added that making requests easy to decline is surprisingly effective. A practical tip emerged: offering to pay upfront for a consult can signal seriousness and often results in free advice.